Women's Humor (click to see included cards)

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WomensHumor_Boxed
Women's Humor (click to see included cards)

Includes 10 cards & 11 matching envelopes.

DSM 1300: We were just discussing the Life Cycle of Men… (Inside) They’re born. They’re wrong. They die. • DSM 873: A Woman’s Prayer: I ask for… Wisdom, to understand my man; Love, to forgive him; and Patience for his moods; (Inside) “Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I may just beat that man to death. Amen.” • DSM 1533: “I just said a little prayer to thank the Lord that, so far today… I have not been nasty, selfish, grumpy or greedy, or gossiped, lost my temper, complained or cursed at anyone.” (Inside) “But since I’ll be getting out of bed pretty soon, I may have to ask for a little more help.” • DSM 1819: In the Beginning, God promised men that good and obedient wives could be found in all the four corners of the earth. (Inside) And then He made the world round; and He laughed, and He laughed...and He laughed... • DSM 1823: "Mirror, Mirror, on the wall... Please make him rich and make him tall..." (Inside) "...and make him fun to be with, and smart, and handsome, and sexy, and sensitive, and loving, and kind to animals, and a good cook, and a great father, and no video games, and interesting, and tidy and handy around the house, and... Oh, heck, just make him nothing like the last one!!" • DSM 1414: Believe it on not, there are places in the world where big butts and cellulite are considered to be sexy... (Inside) Oh, Happy Day! Somewhere, there's a place for us! • DSM 820A: What's a gal to do when she finds her "ex" writing on the ground in terrible agony? (Inside) Well, DUHHH!! Shoot him again!... • DSM 1821: Well, Gosh... I guess a man can sleep around, and around and around, and nobody really cares... (Inside) But a girl makes a few dozen mistakes, and suddenly she's some kind of slut. • DSM 1338: Recent studies revealed that the kind of man a woman finds attractive can differ, depending upon the time of the month... (Inside) For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged, masculine features. However, if she is in the other time of the month, (or especially if she is menopausal...), she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and an ax lodged in his forehead... while he is on fire. No further studies are expected. • DSM 1525: "As women, we are all familiar with the saying: '...that which does not kill me will only make me stronger...'" (Inside) "But personally, I feel like... '...that which does not kill me usually makes me feel anxious, bitchy, needy and vulnerable... But then, speaking as a woman, these are equally useful traits."